


Down To Hell

by Blue_Queen662, That_One_Fan_Girl



Series: Monster Dummy [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, BAMF Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Discussion of Abortion, Established Keith/Lance (Voltron), F/M, Family Drama, Female Lance (Voltron), Gen, Grief/Mourning, Gun Violence, Human/Vampire Relationship, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Married Couple, Miscarriage, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Addiction, Police Officer Lance (Voltron), Racism, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexism, Stressed Lance (Voltron), Supportive Keith (Voltron), Unhealthy Obsession, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vampire Lotor (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26502196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Queen662/pseuds/Blue_Queen662, https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_One_Fan_Girl/pseuds/That_One_Fan_Girl
Summary: Lance is a police officer with a dark past in being a drug and sex addict. Living in a tough part of town with a broken home can do that to a person. It all changed after Keith.But once Keith is out of town for his job, Lance is forced to face the past head-on in against an old friend and dealer turned Drug Lord: Lotor, when he wants to have Lance back as his old junky.Lance must stop Lotor while dealing with racism, sexism and the trauma of the past with her own problems in the future. Lance must relearn about the Monster she never escaped.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance/Lotor (Voltron)
Series: Monster Dummy [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856974
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	Down To Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to apologize right now for my use of Google Translate—I know you can't trust it but I can't speak Spanish and have not friends that speak it. I can barely speak English :/ lol
> 
> Disclaimer: Drug use, racism, sexism and rape are serious matters. If you find any struggles with these topics, take it easy, you don’t have to read. Also, Abortion is another serious topic, make sure to talk to your partner and/or parent if you need help. Neither of us has had children and know nothing about those hard subjects.

  
Streetlights turn on in the shady part of town as the sky grows ever darker in the city of Altea. The streets are dingy, like a gritty cop movie where everyone is a hooker, druggy or a corrupt cop. Graffiti covers the sides of buildings and the sidewalks like a second skin; dried blood and dents accompanying the rougher edges. 

Lance cruises down the blank street at a 20, tired eyes wondering for any riffraff after hours. She chews on her thumb’s nail—a horrible habit that shows her nerves. She can never seem to shake it. 

It's lonely at night—no action whatsoever. Her partner Pather, is out sick that week, leaving her to run potholes on her own. It's fine, nothing Lance hasn't done before. 

Her eyes watch the roads like a hawk, but there is nothing to watch. She continues to bit away at her red-painted nail, nervous as she looks for him. 

Her phone rings. Lance parks in a swift motion, grabbing her phone and answering. ”You found him?” she asks, fingers rubbing under her eyes. 

”He’s at the station right now, ” Alsion says. 

Lance nods, sighing to herself. Lance lets her exhaustion slip, heavy eyelids closing in an attempt to sleep away the stress. She slowly blinks, ”I’ll be right there.” She hangs up.

Lance chucks her phone at the window in frustration, slamming her hands on the steering wheel in a rhythmic bashing. The thorn goes off, she hits it again. Lance collapses on the wheel. 

”Damn it!” 

Lance hits the wheel once more, the horn going off once more. She let her head press against the wheel of her cruiser, closing her eyes. She takes her breathing slow and deep until she’s too tired to be angry. 

Inside her cop car is the only place she can have an adult-sized tantrum. 

”Fucking fuck!” Lance yells, alarming her hands down on her steering wheel. 

Her nephew fell back into drugs—selling them and partaking in the pleasures that are them. Guilt chains Lance down like a criminal doomed to stoned to death. It’s her fault he’s selling in the first place. Lance used to stay out partying and bring home boyfriends and girlfriends that would let her do drugs and fuck her up good until she couldn't remember why she cried earlier in the day. 

She’s coming up on five years sober. 

After the first time she caught Juliano, he promised her he’d stop. After the first time, the police caught him, has promised he’d stop. Lance isn't just guilty, she's burning hot _angry_.

He's running with a group of young boys in this age that ditching school, or sell drugs at school and have sex with the girls that buy them and get the numbers of their friends that want drugs.

Lance was a girl that got hooked on drugs and would definitely have sex with her dealers for free dosages. Lotor was her main dealer: he’d give her all the free drugs she wanted as long as she didn't you to anyone else and do whatever he said. 

Lance doesn't want her sweet nephew to go down a similar path to her.   
  
Lance calms down enough to start driving again. 

She makes it back to the station in record time. Lance throws off her seatbelt and tosses herself out of the car. She slams her car door shut with the force of an angry mother, which can also be called the force of a thousand dragons. 

Lance storms into the station, Juliano sitting with one handcuffed to the side of the chair. He’s a scrawny boy with her same caramel skin and curling brunette hair. A long gold chain hangs from his neck, across hidden under his white tank-top, his black jacket hanging off his shoulders. 

Lance grabs his ear, snarling at the young 14-year-old-boy.   
  
Juliano’s eyes squeeze shut and gritting his teeth for the storm to comes. He begs,” Lo siento tía Lana. Por favor no le digas a mamá!” 

His pleas fall of the deaf ear. “¡Cómo te atreves, comadreja de niño! ¿Quieres terminar en la cárcel, sí? pajarito de la cárcel?” Lance smacks him upside the head, hard and without remorse to share with her poor nephew. ”¡Mocosa! ¡Ojalá no le cuente a mi hermana lo que ha estado haciendo! Ella te hará mucho peor que yo, pero intentaré recordar el infierno por el que me hizo pasar cuando me descubrió.” 

She leaves her nephew a snivelling mess. Officers around the station watching as she scolds her sister’s son in her native tongue, there is nothing they can do to stop officer McClain once she got heated over her stupid nephew following in her stupid footsteps. 

”I don't want you hanging with those boys, ” she spits, waving a finger at him. ”You hear me through that thick head of yours, niño?” She gives him a good smack upside the head once more. 

”I don't see the fucking problem!” 

Lance’s hand hits harder. ”Watch your mouth, ” she scolds. ”Do you want to end up on the streets with no family? Maybe some time in jail will do your dumbass so good.” 

”You used to do it all the time!” The boy uses his anger as phony courage. 

”And look at me now! Five years sober, ” she says. ”You're 14, clean up your God damn act and pray that you make it to University before I beat your ass myself.”

”You just swore!”

”I’m an adult!” 

”That's not fucking fair!” 

”I don't fucking care! Watch your goddamn mouth!” Lance let's out a huff, making a noise of distress and anger, shaking her fists. She grabs the side of his head and kisses the top of his head. ”I don't want you with those boys.” She holds him in her arms, kissing his head over and over. ”I don't need you dead, okay? You're a good kid, ” she says softly, her anger melting away completely. 

”Sorry tía Lana, ” he mutters, hugging her with one arm. 

Lance uncuffs her nephew, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him up from the seat. Juliano keeps his head down—Lance gives him a shake.   
  
”Sorry for the trouble everyone, ” he says. 

Lance gives him a kiss oh his head, hugging his side and gives him a good shake. ”I’ll get you something to eat then I'm taking you straight home.” She plants another soft kiss into her soft curls. 

He nods, keeping his head down. 

”Officer McClain, ” a deep voice snaps Lance out from her aunt mode back to reality. She stiffens up, keeping a tight hold on her nephew. Without knowing, she slowly pushed him behind her—shielding him from the sight of chief Foris. ”I see your nephew is back to his old ways.” 

”Captin Foris, ” Lance states. Captain Sendak Foris. A large building of a man with a messed up left eye, a shit-eating grin and a heavily scarred up left arm. Lance would feel sorry for him if he didn't leave such a bad taste in her mouth. 

”From the way you treat him, I'd think he’d be your kid, especially since how _early you start having kids.”_ Lance grits her teeth. “When can we be expecting you to take off to leave to have yours?”

”Honestly sir, my partner and I still haven’t had _that_ talk yet. And we are in no way financially secure enough to start raising a family.” _So fuck off,_ she wishes to add at the end. 

“Well that didn’t seem to stop your sister, now did it?” He smiles as if his words are kind. 

“Sir, I need to get my nephew home. Young boys need their sleep.” 

“Of course,” he says. He hands her a folder with papers stacked inside. “This is more information about the _Imbécil Drug_ , as you like to call it. I want your team and Hawks’ down on Main Street tomorrow by eight, no later.” 

The _Imbécil Drug’s_ true name is _Blue Lilly_. Lance knows this because it was named after her. 

“I’ll have a look at them before bed,” she says, forcing a smile to her superior. “Have a good night sir.” 

Lance plops the file in the backseat of her cruiser. Juliano sits in the front, buckling himself in. Lance joins him, settling down in her car and taking in a deep breath before starting up the car. 

Lance pulls up to a McDonald’s, ordering them so food and drinks before parking. 

”Tía Lana, why did you let him talk to you like that?” Juliano’s voice is quite. He picks at his grease-soaked French fires, like a child playing with worms. 

Lance takes a bite of her burger, chewing it until it's mush and swallowing. Lance rests the back of her head against the chair, watching the street light ahead of them. What does she tell him? 

She shakes her head, lips pressed into a thin line. ”It’s my job, ” she says.

”You never take shit like that at home, ” he says, picking up a decent looking fry— examining it before eating. 

She turns and looks at him, ”don’t ever become a man like that,” she says, her dark eyes silently begging him in the darkness. “You have to promise me you’ll stop getting involved with those guys,” she says,” promise me.”

Juliano stares at her. Slack-jawed and with big innocent brown eyes. He’s seen terrible things, he’s done terrible things but still, his dark brown eyes stay so innocent. Lana sees none of herself in Juliano, even as he forces himself to be like her. 

“Okay,” he whispers. 

Lance smiles, reaching over, ruffling his hair. She pulls him forward and kisses his head, then lets him go back to eating. 

She gets him home safely, walking him to the door and watching as her panicked older sister throws open the door and showers her some in kisses and bombarding him with questions. 

Lance kisses her sister goodbye and drives down to he small apartment where her husband sleeps. 

She enters the dark apartment, not nothing to turn the lights on. For a moment, she stands at the door, taking in a deep breath of her home’s familiar scent. Sleep really wants her to drop right there. She shakes her head and rubs her eyes, keeping the sleep at bay just a little while longer. 

She takes off her shoes and strips of her uniform, tossing it on the couch. This leaves her in her undergraduate and black tank top she doesn't on under her clothes. 

Lance tiptoes into the bedroom, Keith sleeping soundly on his half of the bed. She wishes she could toss herself onto the bed along with her bag and join Keith in sleep, but she made a promise, and Lance intends to keep. Lance walks over and kisses his hair, he doesn't stir. 

She turns on a lamp in the living room, so as not to disturb Keith. She sits down on the couch, opening the file up. She settles herself down in a comfy spot and takes her hair out of its ponytail. She starts reading. 

* * *

_Lana giggles against a woman’s stomach, sloppily kissing along her belly button. Her head is numb, she didn't want to think. Lana didn't know the name of the other girl her lips are on, only that Lotor asked her to kiss her body, she’ll kiss._

_Lotor runs his hands through Lana’s hair, pulling her short hair back out of her face. “Come here,” he orders.  
_

_Lana sits ups, her head falling into Lotor’s shoulder and letting his mouth do with her as it pleases. The woman’s lips are on her belly, her shirt being lifted up and hands roaming over her small breasts. Lotor’s arm slithers over to her front, fingers slipping into the pink lacy underwear he bought for her._

_Lana gasps as he fingers her—Lotor shoves his tongue into her mouth. There is a tiny orb in her mouth, Lana swallows it with her saliva without fear. Lotor has offered her nothing but pleasure, sex, and a constant high. His hands pull back, sliding up her sides to fondle her breasts, flicking her nipples. Lana moans, back arching to state his lips more._

_Lana laughs, a buzz taking over her. Lotor pulls off her lips, Lana sliding into his lap. ”Is this a new one?” she asks, giggling and grinning like a loon. She smiles down at her, petting down her hair_

_Lotor looks at the woman kissing up Lana’s belly,” you can leave,” he commands in a gentle voice._

_They are left alone in Lotor’s office. Just a large bed off to the side by the window and a desk and chair on the other side of the room. Lana sits up, resting her forehead on Lotor’s shoulder._

_”Fuck, ” she laughs into his neck, mouth kissing along his tan skin. ”This is hitting so different, ” she whispers into his skin._

_Lotor pulls her back, much to the dismay of Lana as she desperately trying to kiss his min. He reaches for her short wavy hair. brushing the chocolate locks behind her ears and out of her eyes._

_”I made it for you, ” he whispers._

_Lana’s heart hammers hard in her chest, cheeks burning hotter than fire. ”For me?” Drool spilling over her lips, she pushes forward and kisses him, grabbing his long snow hair and yanking it—trying to eat his mouth._

_”I call it the Blue Lilly, ” he says, ”for my own little Blue Lilly.” He holds up a tiny round and flat pill that is blue. He holds it out to Lana—she gives him her tongue, placing the pill onto the flat of her tongue and swallowing it._

_Lana giggles at being called his Blue Lilly—his inspiration for a new form of a drug. ”How much for a bag full?” she asks, despite in keeping this wonderful feeling, Lotor has introduced to her. Lotor always gives her the best drugs.  
_

_He hums, ”no need for that, ” he says with a cracked smile. He places a kiss on her lips before pulling away. ”All you must do is come to me, and I'll give you all the Blue Lilly you want. I made it for you after all.” Lana reaches for him, smashing her lips into his. Lotor laughs into her mouth, pulling back to a pouting Lana. She misses his kisses and his touch—everything is good when he touches her. He takes off his shirt, his dark grey eyes turning blood red. It must be the drugs making her hallucinate._ _”Want to see what it does?”  
_

_Lana mindlessly nods._

_He smiles, devilish and teeth sharp. ”I can't wait to show you, my sweet Lilly.”_

_Pleasure is all she wants._

* * *

Lance sucks in a sharp breath, eyes blinking furiously to get everything into focus. “Shit,” she hisses, rubbing her eyes. Lance swings her legs over the side of the couch. The intoxicating greasy scent of bacon and eggs fill the apartment; she breathes it in deeply. A cup of coffee sits in front of her, perfectly swallowed up by cream and sugar as she sips from it. 

“Morning baby,” Keith says from the kitchen. “Rough shift?” 

Lance nods into her mug, desperately trying to learn how to breathe in coffee. ”Juliano got in trouble again.” 

She watches Keith from the couch and smiles. Her chest tightens and she can't help but smile. They are coming up on one year now of their marriage. Keith is the best thing to come into her life—a peaceful marriage with a good man. He pulled her out of the gutter and stuck by her during a hard time in her life. 

Her eyes flicker down to her mug and then her belly. She can't get Sendak’s words out or her head. Lance places a hand on her belly and frowns. A baby? How stupid. The fact is that Lance doesn't know if she wants kids. Now that she’s married, more and more people are pushing for her to have kids. Maybe she’ll never have kids—and that's fine. 

Lance feels her stomach bubble—a silent lake erupting into an angry sea. Lance jumps up, rushing to the bathroom. Her knees slam into the bathroom tiles and tossing back the toilet lid. She pushes back her bangs, ponytail hanging over her left shoulder, her inside flooding into the toilet. 

She coughs, drooling over her chin and eyes tearing up. ”Mother fucking, ” she gasps, shoulders heaving as she tries to take in the big, deep breaths. 

”Hey, you alright?” Keith asks. He pushes back her bangs and places her ponytail back against her back. 

Lance nods, letting her sickness take over her again. Keith pets her back, hushing sweet words into her ear as Lance lets it all out.   
  
”Do you need me to stay an extra day?” Keith asks, handing her a wet washcloth and a glass of water.

Lance gladly takes it, taking a swig of the water, spitting it into the sink. She shakes her head, dragging the cloth over her mouth. ”I’ll be fine, ” she says, sighing to herself. ”Go see Shiro. Tell Adam and kids I say hi.” She takes a swish of the rest of her water and spits it into the sink. 

Keith kisses her forehead, ” if you need anything just call, I'll be on the first plane back to America.” 

She smiles, ”unfortunately I'm not dying over some bad big Mac I got from some crap McDonald's, so I can't keep you around, ” she would kiss his cheek if she didn't have puke breath. 

”You got crappy McDonald’s without me?” Keith asks, totally betrayed. ”You reward Juliano with McDonald’s and I get puke?” 

Lance pats his back, ” living the dream, baby, ” she says, blowing her puke breath into his face. He gags, Lance moves to make a break for it but Keith grabs her and kisses her cheek. Lance gasps, falling into his chest and giggling horribly. 

They fall back onto the floor laughing. 

“Oh no,” Lance says, in a panic—face going white and body cold. Lance pushes off Keith and throws herself back onto the toilet to throw up. 

Keith pats her back and holds her hair back. “Let it out, there we go.” 

Once the sickness is over, Lance and Keith have breakfast. Lance can’t be with him at the airport but she kisses him goodbye with a smile on her face, knowing her breath smells like vomit.

Once Keith disappears down the apartment hallway, Lance’s smile falls, now alone with her thoughts. 

_Pregnant?_

Her hand reaches down to her belly, and a frown pulls on her lips even more. No, she couldn’t have been. It’s a ridiculous notion but Lance would pick up a pregnancy test at the store. But that’s ridiculous. It's just Sendak’s words making her paranoid. 

Lance walks over the coffee table and flips through the files on where Lotor’s hideout’s whereabouts may be hidden. Butterflies flutter in her stomach, she knows they’re all wrong. She knows because she's been there too many times to count. 

She boggles the idea of going over today, scouting out the place as an old _friend_. She promised herself she would never go back to see him or take any of his drugs again. It would be breaking her promise to herself, but it's her job and she’ll have to see him eventually anyhow. 

Lance takes a shower and has her uniform is washed and dried. Lance sits back on the couch, still in her towel. Her face is hot, and guilt takes hold of her as she thinks back. Lance gets up and walks over to a closet in her bedroom.

In the back of her closet, is a small cardboard box she hasn't opened since she quite. She sets it into her lap, fingers gliding over the top. The lid slides off with ease, Lance feels a breath leave her as she looks at the content inside she hasn't seen in what feels like forever. It's a bottle of Blue Lilly. Half the bottle is empty with bright blue pills sloshing around inside. A few personal written love letters are stuffed inside; it makes her frown. What they had wasn't love, but he tricked her into thinking that. Maybe she would have stuck around if it wasn't for Keith.

Lance pulls out a small card with Lotor’s number and work address in print, his phone number written below in curvy lettering. A black butterfly printed on the back. 

She opens the bottle and plops a pill into the palm of her hand. She turns it around, looking at it up close.

She laughs slightly, ”love right?” she says, joy leaving her as she looks longer. Her first closes around the pill, holding her fist to her mouth. It’s so tempting to swallow—she places it back into the bottle and closes the box; placing it back into the closet. 

She changes into a lapis blouse with violet polka dots on it and black leggings. Lance grabs her pistol and badge, shoving then into her jacket pockets before sliding it over her shoulders. 

”Aright Lotor, ready to see your Blue Lilly again?” Ha, like he had a choice.

* * *

_“What the hell is wrong with you!”  
_

_Lana yanks her bag away from the boy in her class. “Fuck off Mullet!” His oil soaked hair hangs in his eyes and his skin is so sickly white Lana’s sure he’s a vampire. She’s aware of this guy, sits at the back of the class with good grades but barely looks like gives a shit about school. He doesn’t talk to anyone. So him speaking to her now of all times is baffling.  
_

_“I saw what’s in your bag.” All warmth drains from her body, she may be as sickly pale as her classmate. He holds up a small bag of white powder. She snatches it from him, shoving it into back into her back._

_”What the hell, fucking creep.” Her palm presses hard into his chest, shoving him back. The force of her push has Lana stumbling back into the wall under the staircase. The cold painted cinder blocks chilling her back. Keith pins her to the wall. Lana turns still as a plant of wood. ”Go suck the principle’s a dick you fucking teacher's pet, ” she spits._

_”Give me your bag.”_

_Lana’s mouth opens, no words escaping her lips, her eyebrows furrow, dark blue eyes looking for something on this man’s face—but she didn't know what she's looking for_ _exactly._

_”Hell no, ” she finally manages. ”Get off me.”_

_”Why do you have these?” He holds up a bottle of Blue Lilly Lotor gave her. A third of the bottle is gone, which is good for her since the last time she emptied the bottle in less than three days._

_”Now that is my—medicine.” Her teeth rot with the lie. But her teeth are already rotten from lying so much._

_Keith grabs her wrist, Lana instantly recoiling in pain. He releases her hand, Lana rubbing it violently. He grabs her arm, ripping down the sleeve.  
_

_”Wait!” she says too late._

_Keith gets a hard look at her purple wrist. His jaw hangs limp, dark eyes peering into her like God—judging. Shame floods over Lana, her cheeks tinting pink. Her eyes fall to the floor. She feels as helpless as she did back at home._

_She still remembers her father throwing her across the room. And her mom’s cigarette burned into her neck as she watched her twin sister, Rachel, get dragged across the floor by her hair—nose bloody._

_Keith pulls back her sleeve more, blood stains her dark arm the further, he looks.  
_

_”Shit, ” Lana curses herself. She forgot that part.  
_

_Keith looks her in the eye, big puppy-dog eyes. ”Are you being beaten?”_

_Lana gasps, it's a hard thing to hole in. ”Shut up!” It’s true. But no one can do anything about it.  
_

_She kicks Keith in the crotch, he steps back, biting his lip to stop the scream. Lana shoves him back, breaking out into a run down the_ _hall._

_”Lana! Lana, please wait!” She hears him call after her. For a moment, she's tempted to turn back, but at the speed she's going—it's too late to even pounder the very thought._

_Lana races to the front of the school, the bus arrives just around the corner, she rushes it, swiping her bus pass and throwing students in front of her. She isn’t sure if Keith followed her but if he did, it's too crowded to push through._

_”Get up, ” Lana says, grabbing a smaller student and throwing him out of it, taking their seat instead.  
_

_She rests her head against the window, blankly staring out at the passing cars and trees. She takes out her bottle of Blue Lilly and pops one in. One will keep her happy until we can get more from Lotor. She closes her eyes, relaxing into the high as it drags her down.  
_

_Lana opens her eyes, jerking up, straightening at the sight of Keith riding a motorcycle—staring into her fucking soul.  
_

_”You bitch,” she hisses to herself, suddenly standing. She throws her bag over her shoulder, pushing by other bus passengers._

_At the next stop, Lana throws herself off of the bus, opting to take another bus later, once she’s sure she can lose Keith for good._

_Lana pulls out her wallet, unzipping it to find a small card tucked away. She calls the number scribbled on the back._

_”Hey, it’s me,” she says, holding back the smile on her face. “I might be a little late some prick from school is follow—mother fucker!” she hangs up, staring at Keith shoes huffing and puffing. “Are you a fucking ninja!”  
_

_“I caught you,” he says out of breath.  
_

_Lana backs up, but not into a wall like last time, this times she’s careful.  
_

_”You’re fucking crazy man. Just leave me alone!”_

_”So...I’m Keith.”_

_”I know who you are fuck face!”_

* * *

Lance walks up to a slick skyscraper with black windows and a dark steel frame. She really should have called him beforehand, but even if she did, what good would it do. He normally sleeps during the day and parties at night; hopefully, that schedule still stands.

She takes out her phone and dials the long-forgotten number. A groggy yawn leaves her, covering it with the back of her hand. 

”Hello?”

Her insides practically shatter on the inside hearing his voice again. She remembers his sweet voice whispering words of pure passion into her ears. Her skin remembers his lips carving into her. It's all overwhelming enough to make her go still. But Lana is an adult...

She better just hang up now. 

”It’s your Blue Lilly coming hole for a little talk, ” she says, as calm as she can keep her voice. 

At the moment he doesn't say anything. ”My God, you came back later then I expected. I thought you wouldn't last a month away from me. Lana, this is wonderful.”

She nearly smiles at his voice, but the memory of him losing his shit when she good him she wouldn't be coming back, stops her. No way she can show any sign of actually missing him. ”You gonna let me up or you still have some hooker in your bed?”

He chuckles on the other side of the line. ”That never stopped you before, love.” 

”Well, I'm not exactly the same woman from before. Let me up?” 

”Of course. Anything for my Blue.” 

Now she wishes she could just fake doing the research about where he lives and just storm the place. _Fuck_ talking about her problems. She can just shoot him first then ask questions later. They may blame her a cop—fuck that. Bastard deserves to be shot. If anything just to make her feel better. 

“I’ll be right up then.” 

Lance remembers walking through this building too many times to remember the stupid excitement she felt every time she came to get her drugs and get laid. 

She ascends with the elevator, alone and kinda jumpy. 

Lance remembers the hallway like the back of her hand, the black door is still as haunting as she remembers. 

Her shakes as she raises her first to the door and knocks. She waits for a moment before the door opens. 

Lance never thought for a moment that her heart would leap into her throat and her cheeks would heat as they did back then. Her body stiffens, trembling slightly at the sight of Lotor. 

His hair is still as long as she remembers. Silver thread falling over his shoulders like water. His eyes are a sharp, deep blue, as she remembers. He’s still beautiful. He stands leaned up against the door frame, his body only covered in a towel that is barely holding on. A cocky smile on his face.

The stench is of sex, and Lotor is covered in it. Lance scowls you at him, crossing her arms. 

“Ya look good for someone in their 30s.” 

His eyes linger a little too long on her body, but she’s used to it by how unfazed she is. 

“Sex, power, money, and beautiful women,” he says, reaching for her cheek. “But not all as beautiful as you. I missed you, Lana.” 

Lance knocks his hand away. “It’s Lance now,” she corrects. 

”Really? Going by that? Not very ladylike.” 

Lance frowns. _Who cares if it's ladylike?_

Stepping past him and into the apartment, Lana is greeted with naked bodies covering the living room floor in the afterglow of an orgy. Lotor never allowed her to join them when she was a druggy. She carefully steps over them, servicing the area for anything odd. 

Lotor closes the door, behind him, and walks over to the open bar. Lana rolls her eyes as he pours a drink.

”What brings you here after so long?” Lotor asks. He takes a swig from the class. ”Finally sick of not having fun like we used to?” 

Lance opens up drawers and shuffles around inside them with her hand with her phone out. She does bother turning his way, flashing her ringed finger to him. ”I'm a married woman now, ” she says. ”I love my husband too much to come back from something like this.” 

She hears the glass hit a little too hard on the bartop. She continues to ignore him, stepping over the sleeping bodies to search for any evidence to use against him. He’ll definitely get out of jail with all the money he has, but she can at least put him away for a while. 

”A happy marriage has nothing to do with having a little fun, _love_.” 

Lance frowns, a chill running through her body at his words. Words of the devil. 

”Happy marriage means I'll never hurt him. No cheating or anything else. Plus I don't want to. Sorry to disappoint.” 

Lance walks along, finding some illegal pills and snapping a few photos. 

”What are you looking for, my dear?” he asks.

”Encrypting evidence.”

He chuckles slightly. ”Like this?” 

Lance turns to Lotor holding up a bag of cocaine, he doesn't hide it when she takes photos of him holding it. 

”Give me a smile, ” she says mockingly. He does, and she takes another photo. 

“Taking pictures of my things? Are you a cop?” 

Lance promptly shows off her badge to him before going back to taking pictures of the drugs he openly keeps around his home. She isn’t afraid of him and he isn’t going to stop her. 

“Oh, good for you!” Lotor says, happily surprised. “Got married, and a job. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were purposely trying to stick it to me.”

“My brother-in-law is an officer. He’s the one that inspired me. May I?” Lance points at his desk, computer browser open for the world to see. She sits down in his chair and starts searching for any information about his line of work. Lotor leans over the chair behind her, pointing out the file she needs to find. 

“Keeping it in the family, huh,” he says, directing her over to each file with his finger. 

Her eyes lighten up at a date and time. “Massive drug shipment?” she asks. ”Really? That's what you titled it?”

He nods. “It’s supposed to be a big one,” he says. “I’ll let you have, let’s say, 50 of my men and more then half the product, ” he says. 

”Make it 50 of you guys, the rest of the other guys you're dealing with, the drugs, and we’ll see where the the night takes us.” She takes out her phone, snapping a few pictures of the evidence. And to shoot him in the face. 

Lotor chuckles. He wraps his arms around her, nosing along her neck. Lance stiffens, a wave of disgust washing over her. His hands slither there way under her shirt, over her tummy. His lips kiss along her neck, making her tremble. 

Lance gasps, jumping up and shoving Lotor back. She grabs the side of her next he kissed, and pulls out her pistol. She points the barrel at him. 

“What the fuck!” She says in anger. Her arm shakes slightly and her eyes are wide. “I just told you I’m married!” 

He blinks slowly, face twisting as he pieces together Lance’s sudden rejection. “You’re not serious, are you?” he chuckles in disbelief. ”And what, you're a real cop?” 

”Yes!” 

Lotor straightens up, clearing his throat. He gains his full composure, staring at her with dark eyes. 

”You return to me after so long and you tell me you're married and a police officer? How am I supposed to not find that funny?” 

”You threw me away first!” Lance snaps. ”You had your little girlfriend and you loved her more than me, so I went to the only person that actually gave a rats ass about me and got clean!” 

”I didn't make you run away like a child. I told you to patient.” 

Lance goes red in the face. ”I wasn't going to waste my life on drugs and sex and with someone that didn't even love me.” 

”I never said I didn't love you.”

Lance scoffs, ” well you never said you did either, ” she snaps. She takes a deep breath, shaking her head. ”I’m done Lotor. I'll leave you alone after whatever this the drug bust is. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and I love him. I have meaning in my life. I'm just trying to get through the day.” 

Lance tucks her phone back into her jacket pocket and walks towards to door. 

”I’ll agree to the bust but please, Blue, speak with me, ” he says too sweetly. ”I’ve missed you, my dear.” 

Lance is careful not to trip over any of the sleeping bodies. She knows this song and dance of wake up, carefully step over the other bodies that got to join in the fun and leave. She remembers so many times she’d have to sit back and watch and would be the first to leave in the morning. If she was lucky—if she could even call it that, he’d let her play with one, maybe two other girls. 

If he's lying to her, she knows all his roots off by heart. All his old clients and crew. It will be a big headache, but she’ll put him behind bars or shoot him herself.

”Blue, wait!” Lotor orders. 

”I’m leaving—”

”I told you to stop!” His angry voice is like no other. Lance’s body suddenly freezes, shaking like a leaf as her hand barely reached the knob. She can't move even if she tried. Fear floods over her. A fear she never felt being with him before. 

”I apologize for losing my temper, ” he says softly. ”You’ve just been away form me for so long.” He reaches for her hips, snapping Lana out if her shock.

She elbows how chest, her grunts in pain, holding his chesg. She yanks back the doorknob, and dashes for the elevator. She mashes the elevator button until it opens.

”Lana!” he calls. 

The door shuts. Lance feels her legs unable to handle her weight, falling to her butt and gasoline for air. Her shoulders heave up and down as she regains the strength to breath.   
  
Lance covers her eyes, teeth grinding together as she tries to shit out his voice in her head. Her skin crawls like spiders over a web. It’s like every bone in her body is dumbbells, weighing her down like she’s the one bringing the elevator down. 

“What the fuck,” she whispers, staring blankly on the floor. 

She’s a grown woman, trembling in the corner like a child spooked by the boogie man. It’s like the nights she’d hide away whenever her parents started fighting and things would get violent. She’s trembling—she hasn’t done this since she was a kid. Even in her line of work, she doesn’t get this shaken up. 

* * *

_Lana sits on the edge of the bed, Keith cleaning her arm. It's marked up with marks her mom left on her the other day. She's completely trapped by his iron clasp grip, so she sits there and waits._ _Her face is slightly pink, embarrassed by an almost stranger treating her nicely._

_”You want some hot chocolate, Lana?” Keith’s brother asks, popping his head out of the doorway._

_”You don't have to do that, ” Lana says, close to mumbling. She can't find where to put her eyes, travelling around the living room of some kid she barely knows.  
_

_He steps out more, revealing him in his police uniform and badge. Now he has her attention—she has drugs attached to her person. Her heart pounds louder in her ears and first her chest. Shiro walks forward go loom over Keith as his younger brother tends to her arm._

_”How did you get that nasty thing?” he asks.  
_

_”I fell, ” she swiftly lies._ _Keith tugs on her hand. ”Ow!” she hisses, ”hey lunatic, that hurt.”_

 _”Tell the truth, ” he says, frowning down at her hand._ _Lana frowns down at him, kicking him. Not hard enough to hurt though.  
_

_”Cállate, pedazo de_ _mierda.”_

_“What happened?” Shiro asks.  
_

_”My mom got mad,” she puts simply, not wanting to look up at Shiro. She knows what he’s thinking. ”Threw something at me.”  
_

_She’s sure Shiro’s face is filled with horror._

_”Oh sweetie, are you okay? Do you need a place to stay for a bit?”_

_Lana’s head snaps up, looking at Shiro with a slack jaw. His voice is so gentle and his words felt genuine. ”For real?” she asks._

_He gives her a comforting smile, ” of course, ” he says with a slight chuckle, as if her asking was ridiculous. “We’ll set you up in the guest room, or if you don’t like that, I have a female cop friend that you may feel more comfortable staying with.”  
_

_Tears burst from her eyes, she bites her lip to control her crying. Not even her close friends at school would be so nice enough to offer her a room. She’s just been so tired that everything must have exploded inside her._

_Shiro places a hand on her shoulder, rubbing her shoulder gently. “Hey, no need to cry,” he says like a kind older brother would.  
_

_She laughs suddenly, tears still leaking from her eyes. “Keith, you can take some real pointers from Shiro,” she says._

_Keith smiles up at her. Lana feels her heart tighten in her chest. They were so nice it’s stupid. They’re too god damn nice._

* * *

Lance looked down at the pregnancy test with a heavy heart. She sighs down at the two lines. She really didn’t want to have this conversation with Keith—but it would be irresponsible of her to get an abortion without talking to Keith first. It’s his kid too. 

Lance tosses the test into the trash. She sits back against the cabinets. They want to cry is there, but she can’t bring herself to even shed a tear. She reaches up for her phone on the counter. She scowls thought her phone, looking for his number. She presses dial, anxiously waiting for him to pick up. She doesn’t want him to pick up. 

“ _Hello_?” 

Lance feels her breath leave her. It’s not too late to hang up...

“Hey, Keith,” she says, throat closing up. Shit—now the waterworks are coming. 

“ _Baby, what’s wrong?_ ” he asks. “ _Do you need me to come home?_ ” 

She should just hang up right now. Say she’s fine and hang up. 

“No, don’t come home,” she says, whipping her nose. “I just thought I should talk to you about something important.” 

He's quiet for a moment, probably waiting for her to keep talking. 

“I just found out I’m pregnant,” she sighs.

He’s quiet for another. “ _Are you okay?_ ” he asks. 

”No, ” she answers honestly. ”I’m really not okay.” 

” _Are you sure you don't need me to come home?_ ” 

”No, no, ” she says, ” Shiro needs you more than me. How is he?”

Keith sighs, ” _better. He’s getting better.”_

”I don't know what to do, ” Lance suddenly blurts out. ”I don't want a baby.” It’s hard to keep back the tears. ”I know you want one—but I can't, ” she says, shaking her head, ” Keith, I can't.”

” _Hey_ , ” Keith says softly. ” _It’s going to be okay_.” 

”No it's not, ” she says. ”I know you want kids but I don't think I'm ready.” 

” _No ones every ready_ , ” he says. ” _But we have a choice,_ ” he says softly. ” _You have to do a choice. We don't have the money anyway. But who knows, if we keep it, we can just move them into the bedroom and we can sleep in the living room._ ” 

Lance chuckles slightly. ”Can we talk more when you get back?” she asks. ”I rather you be here when I make a concrete decision.” 

” _Of course_ , ” he says. ” _I’ll be home next Sunday okay? Then we can talk as much as you want._ ” 

”I love you.” 

” _I love to too_.”

Lance hangs up, holding the phone close to her chest. Hearing his voice made her feel a lot better. But it still didn't fix her problem, it did make her feel better though. 

She really shouldn't have done this before the raid tomorrow. It just made her more jittery that something might happen. Sleeping will be hard that night but manageable with the threat of a baby. 

She looks down at her gut, frowning at the mere thought of her belly may be swelling. “You have horrible timing.” But that just reminds her of the story of her birth. Father was away on a military mission and her mom was a college student just kicked out of her parent’s place. She chuckles slightly, rubbing the back of her head as she looks down at her stomach. “Don’t hate me with whatever choice I make.” 

It’s a stupid thing to speak to someone that doesn’t exist yet, or does it? Lana hasn’t really dealt with babies before. Even at a young age, she never had to look after anyone under five before.   
  
Of course, this thing can’t hate her, it doesn’t have a mind yet. It doesn't even know she's it's a mother yet. No, don't use the word mother. It’s just a clump of cells—cells can still feel...no, Lance didn't want to think about it. Thinking about it would make her feel something she didn't want to. 

Lance takes one final look at the trashcan and frowns. An ugly feeling twists around in her gut. 

She gets up off the bathroom floor and turns on the fosset, washing her hands of the germs on the floor. Lance gives herself one long look in the mirror, frowning as she can see her mother in her reflection. Her mother was horrible. She’d probably be just as bad. It was damn near luck her sister is keeping it together. She's probably fair worse. 

Lance heads to bed for the night. Starring up at the ceiling in worry about what to do about the growing life inside her. She doesn't want it or the responsibility of what to do with it. 

Lance closes her eyes, slipping into a dream. 

Lance sits on the floor, doing her daughter’s hair. A show about colourful horses singing at the moment. As she slowly brushes her hair, the child flickers from a boy to a girl. Lance is unfazed, continuing to rhythmically brushing her kid’s hair.

The tv flickers from a colourful show to her past living with her family. Her palms beaten red, covering her ears are her parents shout at one another. 

Lance continues to smile as her kid becomes less and less recognizable. She hums softly, smiling stupidly as the warm home grows dark. 

Someone places a hand on her shoulder, Lance turns up looking up at her husband. Red eyes gleamed down at her with a wide-fanged smile. His long white hair drips over his shoulder. 

”You're so lovely, my dear Blue.” 

Lance looks down the empty space in her lap. Blood covers her hands. Were the tv once way, her father hangs by his neck. Swaying back and forth as she and her siblings watch. 

Lance gasps, tears blinking out of her eyes. She breathes slowly, looking down at her hands first to check if there’s any blood on her hands. 

”What the fuck, ” she says. 

Her body trembles, blinking up at the ceiling in terror. 

Stress has to be getting to her. 

Lance looks over to her phone, flipping it over to check the time. 1 am. Her alarm hasn't gone off yet but she sure as hell isn't going back to sleep. 

”Maldita sea.”

Lance throws off her comforter and walks over to her closet. She puts on her uniform and pulled back her hair into a ponytail. She yawns, shoulders slumping over with extortion. The best thing she can do is get a coffee...

”Fuck, ” she groans. Pregnant people can't drink coffee. She looks down at her stomach again, frowning at the tiny devil refusing to give her coffee. ”I’m convinced you hate me.” 

Lance grabs her keys and the trash bag she left earlier and walks to the apartment door. Opening the door, Lance is met with a fruit basket with w note on it. Begrudgingly, she picks it up, eyeing the inhabitants of the basket. She sets it on the counter, picking up the note, as she takes out a peach, biting into it. 

_Don’t come tonight. You’ll regret it._

She swallows, tossing the peach back into the basket. It’s been a while since she saw his handwriting, but Lance knows it’s Lotor’s. She scowls, crumpling up the paper and throwing it in the trash. As she watches the crumpled ball fall into the trash, a horrifying idea comes to mind.

_How the hell does he know where I live?_

Lance picks up the basket, carrying it out with her. Lance tosses it into the dumpster along with the trash bag. Good thing the trash is today.   
  
She’s deal with Lotor when she shoots him in the face. 

Lance meets up with her squad, sitting in her car, outside the warehouse where the deal will be made. It's a minor fuck up that Lotor knows—he’ll be ready for her and the police. Lotor has one weakness: he's a man of his word. 

She sits next to Sendak inside on the armoured trucks. She monitors the screens, waiting for the right mark. 

Lance's gut feels off. She breathes slowly, trying to calm herself down. _Don't puke_ , she tells herself over again in her head. 

”Don’t tell me you're getting cold feet now?” Sendak snarks next to her. 

She fixes her eyes on the screen. Her gut is twisting around inside, and her head is spinning. “Never sir.”

No need to step down now when she’s this close to putting a bullet in Lotor’s skull. Lana places a hand over her mouth, sickening wave of nausea hits her like a freight train. She tries to focus on the monitor But the world is slightly fuzzy. 

“I’ll feel a lot better once we get this guy.” And then she can worry about this clump of cells in her stomach messing with her life. 

“I know your kind rather has a taste for this stuff, but don’t touch any of the evidence,” he chuckles. 

Lance stays quiet. Now is not the time to talk back about his opinions about _her people._ As much as clocking him in the nose would be rather pleasing. Though she has no reason to speak since her family has a history with drugs and so does she. 

“Alright,” Sendak speaks into the com on his chest. “The deal is being made. Go, go.”

Lance jumps out with the rest of the people stuffed in the van. She can already hear gun shots. She pulls out her gun from its holster, two hands firmly placed on the handle, trigger finger ready as she moves into the warehouse. 

Her vision blurs, Lance makes sure to duck behind a crate, breathing slowly to cool her head. A sickness takes over her again—it’s decently baby sickness. A thought came to mind, the horrifying truth that maybe he drugged the fruit basket. It would be something he would do. He never promised her safety—Lotor is a man of his word.

Lance faints, crashing hard into the cement.

* * *

Lance wakes up with the lights out and her head pounding. She groans, pushing up from the bed on her elbows. Her eyes widen as she recognizes the room. 

“Fuck,” she slurs. Lance reaches for the blade she keeps hidden on her, only to be patting down bare skin. “Shit,” she hisses. Lance tossing the blankets off, pressing down on anything that may be sore and looking for marks of abuse. Finding nothing, her heart finds a somewhat steady rhythm once again. She stands. She doesn’t get far with a chain attached to her ankle and the bed. 

“Who the hell does this shit?” She grumbles.

The better question is how the hell did he get his hands on her? She was on the side of the policemen and unless those bastards left her for dead, it should have been nearly impossible.

She sits back down and brings her ankle up, fiddling with the clasp around her ankle. She reaches back into her ponytail, grabbing a bobbiepin and bending and twisting it until it’s too her liking. She jams it into the keyhole, jiggling it around, listening for clicks and movements.   
  
“I’m going to kill him,” she grumbles,” I’m going to find the nearest gun and shoot him in the face.” 

”Well that's not very friendly, ” Lotor says.   
  
Lance turns around, fear flashing in her eyes—she didn't even see him. No...he wasn't even there. 

”Where the hell did you come from?” she snaps. 

”Dear, aren't you cold?” he reflects the question. ”So unmodest of you to show so much skin. And so unladylike.”  
  
Lance still makes no move to cover up. She has nothing to hide from him, he's seen it all before. She glares at him for a good long moment before turning her attention has to undoing the unwanted accessory. 

“I have the key to that.” 

“You’re key will not be needed. Thank you very much.” She pretends not to care, but in reality, Lance’s heart is pounding horribly loud in her chest, she trying to not shake like a leaf. 

There’s no need to ask why she’s naked because she knows what Lotor does to women, girls. He’s done it to her too. 

Finally, the lock clicks, Lance quickly removing the metal bracelet. She stands up, turning back to Lotor, unmoved. His eyes travel though, roaming her body like they used to. Maybe if Lance was still—no, she doesn’t revenge want entertain the mere thought. 

“Where are my clothes?” 

Lotor moves, Lance is eerily aware of how quiet his footsteps are. His hands are snakes, slithering around her waist like they used to, she's unable to move. Her feet are glued to the floor, back pressed against his chest, his broad pressing into her. 

”I’m married, ” she sternly whispers. 

”You know that doesn't matter, ” he lips press against the shell of her ear, kissing down her neck. 

Her heart pounds in her chest, head dizzy, she forces her eyes on the floor in front of her, body trembling. Something isn't right and it's freaking her out. 

Lotor sniffs her hair, hands travelling up to her breasts, where they shouldn't be. Lance managed to force her hands to his, glaring up at him with an icy gaze. He kisses her neck, lips soft against her neck. Lance scowls, his kisses getting rougher against her neck. He squeezes her breasts, humming happily at her reaction and twist of her nipples. 

Lance trembles, pulling at his wrists to stop him. ”Let go, ” she demands softly. ”This is sexual harassment.” 

“I’ve done worse,” he admits. He suckles on a spot in the crock of her neck, biting harshly to bruise her gold skin. 

”Lotor, ” Lance breathes, exhausted of his behaviour, ” let go.” 

”I wasn't as fun since you left, ” Lotor whispers. ”I missed you too much. Why did you leave me?” 

”I left because it wasn't right, ” she says, ” I was a child and you were an adult. It was wrong.” 

”But I made you feel good, ” he says, mouth against her throat. ”I bought you gifts, I made a drug after you, I treated you right—I _loved_ you.” 

”What we had wasn't love. It was child grooming.” 

”I remember how thin you used to be.” Lance doesn't like how he reflects the question. ”I always had to be so careful with you.” 

Lance is quiet, mulling over the dull memories of sex and drugs he’d share with her. A small part of her misses the attention he'd give her—but a large part of her is terrified of him. 

”I don't like the one day you’ll go old and lose your beauty.” That doesn't sound normal. ”I want to keep you locked up in a little box—I should have done so from the start.” Lance's body goes cold, heart pounding in her chest horribly fast. ”You smell pregnant. I hate knowing it's not mine.” 

Sharp pain in her neck, two needles forcibly shoved into her throat. Lance shocks on a scream, reaching back to pull on his hair. ”What the fuck—” she yelps. Her legs are jelly, Lotor being the only thing to hold her up and use to stand. ”What the fuck!” Tears sting her eyes, jaw clutched to hole back the scream in her throat. 

Lotor picks her up by her middle and tosses her onto the bed. Lance holds her throat, blood oozing from the open puncture wounds. She looks up at Lotor in horror. His eyes are blood red, fangs popping out from his crimson stained lips.

He reaches for her. Lance flinches, kicking him away. “Don’t touch me!” her voice breaks, tears blurring her vision. 

“Screaming only makes it harder,” he whispers. He grabs her arm, forcing it up and over her head. Lance kicks his middle, he grabs her ankle, yanking her back against him. 

Lance slams her fist again his nose. Surprisingly, no blood and no pain comes from him. He glares down fire-red eyes at her. “Don’t do this,” she begs. Her fist shaking. 

“Become a doll,” he commands. 

Lance finds her body go limp against her will. She can’t speak or move. She can’t even cry or speak. Lance watches in horror as Lotor does what he wants with her. He bit her under her body was voiced in teeth marks, bruised her until her skin was black. All she could do was cry softly and despite the try to hold back her pathetic moans. He called her Lana, like he used to, too nicely it made her skin scrawl like spiders traveling over her.

At the end of the night, Lance was left hugging her middle, trembling as he hugged her close. She used to wish for this moment—him holding her close and whispering sweet words into her ear. Now she didn’t want to hear it, she wants him to let go, let her go. 

“Keith,” she whispers, holding back the tears. She wants Keith, wants him to hold her close and tell her it’s going to be okay. She wants him too look at her like he always did, with love and understanding. 

“Don’t say his name,” Lotor commands softly. 

Lance found her voice unable to say Keith’s name. She opened her mouth but his name refused to leave her throat. Lance sobs harder, she just wants Keith. 

Lotor hushes her softly, kissing her cheek gently, but his sweet kisses meant nothing. 

“Let me say his name,” she pleads,” please let me say it.”

He hugs her tighter, it’s hard to breathe. ”No.”

* * *

_Lana watches Lotor on the bed with two other girls. She’s bored out of her mind. No drugs, and no sex, lame. Lana looks down at her phone, smiling down at her text she got from Keith. She sits crisscross on his chair in the corner, no one paying attention to her._

_She holds back her giggles as she messages Keith back and forth. They’re supposed to meet up with his friends this weekend, should be fun.  
_

_“Blue, what are you giggling about over there?” Lotor asks. He sits up, drinking a glass of red wine as the two girls kiss along his body and lay over his body.  
_

_Lana looks up from her phone for barely a second before answering Keith. She can’t wipe the stupid smile off her face.  
_

_“Going to my boyfriend’s friend's cabin for the weekend.” His friends are a bunch of weirdos too. Lana’s into that walking stuff where they’re nerds and he's the straight man in the group. They seem like nice kids and she wants to get to know them._

_She doesn't have a lot of friends at school. Most of the call her a slut of only want to hang out to get drugs and have sex._

_“Boyfriend?” He scoffs. “When did you get one of those?”  
_

_“Jealous?” she asks with a cocky attitude. Maybe she did want him to be a little jealous._

_He shakes his head, ” of course not. I know it's only a faze.”_

_Lana laughs, ” faze?” she echoes, ” I really like this nutcase.” Embarrassment floods her cheeks, eyes dropping down in shame._

_Was Keith just a faze?_

_No. No, she wouldn't have it. Keith was different then all the other guys she dated to have sex with. She didn't want Keith for sex. She wants to have sex with him, but not until he’s comfortable with her. He's sweet and stupid and makes Lana feel all the right things and does the dumbest things that make her hear hurt so good._

_Keith wasn't a faze. She won't let me slip away from her. She loves him._

_He tuts like she's a child the got into the cookie jar. ”My dear, you’ll be bored of him soon, trust me.”_

_Lana’s smile drops as she thinks about Keith one day dumping her. She liked the way he made her feel safe and loved. She liked the stupid smile on her face every time he made a dumb joke and tried to make her laugh._

_”I think I'm gonna keep this one. I have a good feeling, ” she smiles fondly at the nickname they started calling her. Lance. She likes it._

_Lotor is quiet for a moment, ” Blue, could come here for a moment.”_

_Lance places down her phone and walks over to him. He brings her into his lap, kissing her cheek as his hand romans free under her shirt. Lana closes her eyes, not feeling as good as it used to._

Lana thinks of Keith and how he acted when she first kissed him. Face beat red and eyes locked on her like a puppy waiting for more. She wanted the pure excitement of hugging him and seeing how he’ll react or holding his hand in the cold. 

She moans softly to Lotor’s kisses, and the girls joining in too. Lana fights to bite back Keith’s name as she can only think of him being the one to kiss her right now.

* * *

Lance sat in Lotor’s bed, looking up at the meal placed in front of her. She refused to eat it, staring down at the plate for a full hour now. Her stomach growls but eating it meant risking being drugged again. If he didn’t force her to eat, she wouldn’t.

Keith’s probably home by now, the days blended together, she can’t tell. Her brain is like static, white noise playing and never focusing on one thing. She can't even say his name, she wants to say his name so bad it hurts. 

The thought of the baby inside her was almost comforting. If he keeps her from Keith, he can't take his baby away from her. And if he did, she’d throw herself off a building. He can't take everything from her and if he did, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of it. 

Lotor walks into the bedroom, pulling off his necktie. ”You need to stop doing that, ” he sighs.

”Let me say his name.” 

”No.” 

”Then I don't want to.” She should if she wants to keep the baby to spite him. She’d be doing it for Keith too. 

”Eat, Lana, ” he commands. 

Lance hates how he can order her into doing things. She eats without complaint, knowing full well she can't stop him. 

”I’ve arranged for a doctor to come and take that _thing_ out of you, ” he says, changing into another suit. 

”That _thing_?” she spits out with disgust. 

”Oh don't be like that, ” he mocks with a smirk and an eye roll. ”I can smell you don't want it. I’m doing you a service.” 

”I want it because Kei—my _husband_ , wants children. And even if I never see him again, I'll still have it just to know that at least I have one thing of his.” 

He scowls, a terrifying look that makes Lance tremble. 

”Now you're just being childish.” 

”You're a rapist, ” she spits. 

”I just took what rightfully belongs to me,” he says calmly. 

“I don’t belong to you,” she growls.

He hums, a smirk stretched on her face. “It’s adorable you think you have a choice.” 

“I can’t wait to shoot you in the face,” she smirks. “I’m having this baby and there is no way you’re stopping me.” She wants to spite him. Prove she will never be his. It's dumb thought to think she jas to prove it by having another man’s baby to prove it—but it's the only thing she has of Keith. 

”I would like to see that, ” Lotor chuckles, you shooting me? What a funny thought.” 

How funny it would be to see him on the ground with a hole in his head, his blood pooling out on the floor. 

”The doctor will be here in a few hours. I'll be here to comfort you.” 

”Cancel the doctor. I won't need it.” 

”You have no choice in this.” 

Lance stays quiet. Lotor is a man of his word. He kisses her head, Lance tries to pull away, but can't seem to escape his hand in her head. 

She should just needs to get out, and call the police and tell them where Lotor lives so they can arrest him...if she didn't shoot him in the face first. 

Lance waits for the front door to close before getting up from the bed. Her ankle jas been chained to the bed frame, enough for her to barely reach the door. There is nothing sharp around to break or pick the lock. But the bed is wooden—if she can break it...

There's an armchair across the bedroom. Lance reaches over with her leg, the chair just barely reachable. She's able to drag it over by the strength of her foot alone. She’s able to raise it over her head and slams it down on the headboard as hard as she can. It's doesn't break. She brings it up once more, slamming it down again. 

”Damn it, ” she says, breathing heavily. 

Lance brings it up once more, the chair cracking a bit. She’s so close, the headboard is so close to breaking. Lance brings it up, getting a little lightheaded from lifting so much. Each process is slow and knocks the wind out of her. Her body trembles with each hit, the weight of the chair coming down with gravity to aid her, the wooden frame are starting to break. 

Lana stops, taking a break from slamming the chair over the headboard. She sits against the board of the bed, breathing heavily as she lets everything sinks in. 

She looks down at the belly, huffing in frustrations and hugs herself close. ”At least I have you, ” she says. She's using this thing inside her as a crutch but she doesn't see that as a bad thing. Of she can handle Lotor, she can handle a baby, especially with Keith by her side. 

”I promise when I get out of here, I'm going to try being the best mom I can possibly be.” She smiles to herself. Maybe she just needs to give herself a chance...no one is very really ready. 

Lance gets up off the floor. She puts on one of Lotor’s shirts and boxers. The chain didn't make it easy. Slowly, she picks up the chair, wobbling as she brings the chair up over her head, letting gravity take it down hard. Again, and again until it brakes. 

Lance can't help but grin, breathing heavily as it sinks in. She's free for the moment. 

Lance looks for her uniform, scouring the apartment. She finds her gun, checking for bullets—finding all the bullets intact and turns the safety of, along with finding her badge, grabbing one of his jackets and tossing it over her shoulders, shoving her gun and badge in the pockets. 

Lance grabs the phone, dialling 911. She explains the situation and asks them to bring clothes for her to change into. Next, she calls Keith.

” _Hello?_ ” he answers. 

Lance feels her heartbreak at the defeated sound of his voice. ”Baby, ” she says, her voice breaking. 

” _Lance?_ ” his voice is hopeful, ” _oh my God, where have you been? Are you okay? At your safe?_ ”

”I’m fine, ” she lies, whispering into the phone. ”The police are coming, I'm going to be fine, ” she says. She sniffles, ”I love you. I love you so much, ” she whispers. 

” _I love you too,_ ” he says. 

Lance nods to herself, tears flowing from her eyes. 

Lance gasps, being shocked to the ground and the phone toppling over the table. 

”You always amaze me, ” Lotor sighs. He shakes his head slowly and picks up the phone, hanging up. ”I should have taken more processions against you.” 

Lance smirks, ” I told you I would see you behind bars or with a bullet in your head.” 

”You’re good, I'll give you that, ” he says, slowly, walking forward. Lance crawls back, trying to grab her gun. It gets caught on the pocket, Lotor reaches down and grabs her ankle, dragging her across the floor. 

”No!” Lance cries, the gun sliding across the floor. She kicks at him but he's unfazed. 

”This time, I'll leave you in a drug-induced daze when I leave you alone and guarded.”

”You honestly think you can escape the police!” she shouts, ”I'm not going to make it easy for you.” 

His smirks shakes Lance to her very core, his eyes are red as blood and teeth sharpen like wolves teeth. Lance ist sure what he is—but it's not human and it's not a drug-induced illusion. ”I think you're going to make it really easy for me, my sweet Blue Lily.” 

Lotor grabs her arm, ranking her up. Lance uses the momentum to trust her first forward into his nose. Lotor let's go, stumbling back at the sudden blow.

He growls, ” you're still full of so much fucking fire, ” he licks his lips.

His face sinks, and so does Lance’s. She looks down at her legs, blood dripping down and staining the boxers she still. Lance is paralyzed with distraught, trembling at the mere sight that her baby is dead and she never got a chance to even be a good mom. She was a horrible mother from the start and never got a chance to even prove she can be a good mother. One her mother wasn't to her—someone as loving as her older sister. 

”No, ” she whispers, falling down in shock. She has to get to the hospital. The chain rattles 

”Don't like that, ” Lotor says, rolling his eyes, ” you didn't want his spawn.” 

”I wanted it because it was his!” she yells. ”I didn't want kids because I'm fucked up! My mother was horrible to me and my father killed himself early into my childhood, but he was a fucking piece of shit too! I can't be a good mom! Yeah, I didn't want it, but it was still mine and Kei—my husband's choice to make and now I have to tell him that choice had been taken from us!” As she yells, Lance manages to grab the gun, pointing it towards his head. 

Lotor isn't fazed. ”Put the gun down, Lana, ” he commands. Before the order can sink in, she pulls the trigger. The bullet lodged into his brain. Lotor’s eyes roll, body slamming back into the floor. 

Lance is frozen, the reality of what she had done sunk in, gun rattling in her grip. What he did was wrong, but she still had horribly fond memories with him that it's sick. She didn’t want to think about how nice he was to her in the past. And she killed him. 

Lance forces herself to stand, holding her belly, silently morning the loss of ever meeting her child. The chin rattles as she walks on shaky legs. She limps down the hall and to the elevator and to the front desk. 

The police arrive and let them handle the situation as she goes to the hospital. The paperwork was hell after on earth but worth it once she was able to see Keith. 

The talk was hard. 

Telling him that the stress killed their child, the chance of having the discussion of keeping their first kid was ripped from their hands without them having a real heart to heart in person. 

She clung to Keith, unable to say anything but just hug him. He lets her cry and let out all the stress of the past few weeks that beat the crap out of her. She cried out of frustration, and exhaustion. 

She's still hunted by his inhuman red eyes but he's dead now. He can't hurt her anymore, but the lasting effect of his torment and obsession stuck around. 

Sometimes in the mirror, she sees red in her own eyes and feels like she's being watched. She no longer felt comfortable in that city, they move into a small house just outside the city. 

It was a few years until Lance had her first son. They named him Shiro, after Keith’s late brother. 

Lance sat in the backward watching her son play with the dog. ”Hey sweet bean, can you walk to mom?” she asks, spreading her arms out wide. 

He waddles over to her, laughing at the pure delight of just walking in the glass. Lance smiles at the pure delight of war thing her son smile.

Lance’s eyes catch someone staring. Colour drains from her face, the smile on her face dropping along with her arms. Those red eyes haunt her.

”Lotor...”

”Ma!” her son has excitedly. Collapsing into her lap with a wide grin. 

Lances snap down at him and then back up. Nothing stands where she once was looking. She turns her attention back down at her son. ”Yes baby, ” she says, bring him up to sit in her lap, ” you did it, ” she kisses his forehead. “Mama is so proud.” 

She picks up Shiro, looking back to see if someone is looking at her. She brings her son and her dog back inside where it’s safe. 

She sits Shiro down on the playmat and turns on My Little Pony, the colourful ponies captivates baby, dog and Keith.

Lance sits at the table, looking down at the cardboard box she hasn’t opened in over two years. She lifts up the lid, barely enough to see anything inside before slamming it down. She picks up the box and stomps into the kitchen, grabbing a lighter. She walks out to the backyard, placing the box onto the grill and flicking the switch to the lighter. She watches the flame dance, frowning at it as if maybe this isn’t a good idea. 

She lights the box on fire. Watching the items inside burn. 

“You’re dead,” she whispers, dread washing over her face. “Durmiendo en el infierno ahora, monstruo.” 

Lance leave the items to burn, going back inside to watch Shiro watch magical colour horses on a tv. 

She breathes a sigh of relief, watching Shiro blab on with a song. Lance joins in on his efforts, feeling a lot better now that the box is burned and gone. 

She sets Shiro down for his nap before Keith gets home, settling down for a nap herself. Lance closes her eyes, for a moment. 

A hand runs through her hair. “I told you it was laughable effort. But I can wait...I can wait.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading. Please leave a comment, we both want to know how to improve our writing moving forward and please leave a like :) 
> 
> Teaser: ”It’s just a scratch, ” he chuckles, holding the bloodied rag to his arm. ”I’ll be fine.” His smile is pained, holding back a whimper in his throat. ”Trust me.”
> 
> He bits his lower lip and nods. ”I trust you. ”


End file.
